Monday, January 7, 2008

D-War: There IS a reason you've never heard of it.

So in the summer of 2007, my mom and sisters left on a road trip or something. Me and my brothers and my dad decided to do something. So we got online to order tickets for a movie. I suggested we go see the Simpsons Movie (HAAAAA! Lelujah!) but we'd already seen that. So we rolled over an ad for a movie called D-War (which I'm assuming stood for Dragon War) and thought "Hey, That looks like it would be worth 2 hours of our time!". This is where the first mistake happened : We bought tickets to see this movie. So we go to lunch first (they closed down Tony Roma's!) and then we walked into the theater. That was the second mistake. We went and sat down, and the movie started: There's a picture of a giant crater that is NEVER mentioned in the movie again. Some guy looks at it, goes back to his apartment, and says "This reminds me of something from my past!"... Ok... we waited for him to say something else, but that was it. *Wavy Flashback!...'d!*. So a kid (who apparently was the young version of this strapping lad) walks into an antique shop with his dad! And there's a creepy old guy who's selling cool stuff for ridiculously low prices ($10 for that dagger on the table? How does this guy survive!). The kid goes and opens some box. That Kamehameha's him in the face. That is NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. Old man fakes a heart attack, dad leaves to "get help", and the old man goes over to the kid... End of part 1 of my description of this crapful movie.

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