D-War: The Second Part.

The old man starts telling the kid he's the reincarnated form of an ancient korean (?) warrior who was supposedly trained his whole life to kill some giant snake. And he's in love with some girl who is like housing the spirit of some other GOOD (yeah...I don't get it either) snake who's supposed to do - Oh I give up on explaining this part. Anyway, when the giant snake's army comes (headed by some guy who talk like darth vader with a shrimp stuck in his throat), the giant snake comes to kill the guy, chases him and his loved one to some cliff, and the guy grabs the girl and jumps off the cliff. Yeah, so much for "Trained your whole life to kill this thing." Anyway, after that HALF HOUR of the movie was over, me and my brother were looking at each other starting to burst into tears laughing at how bad it was. We looked over, and, as expected, my other bro and my dad were also laughing. The rest of this was followed by the dude trying to find the reincarnated version of that chick from the story. He's got his two best weapons at his disposal: A fat black dude and the internet. So he finds the girl. But not before the girl has a heart attack, is hospitalized, and then the giant snake somehow shows up in downtown San Francisco. So the Dude finds her, the go walking on the beach
(all this while the giant snake's rampaging through the city) and the fall in love. This is actually how hard the story was to understand, really it was. So they're driving along in the car later, with the black guy, and the Vader with a Shrimp in his throat show up! Fortunately, he can be hurt by cars. Yeah, they slam into him. So the black guy gets out 'n' starts trying to fight the dude. And he actually does pretty good... UNTIL THE DUDE SLAMS THE BLACK GUY IN THE HEAD. So the guy and the girl just drive away. "Where's jim?" says the girl. "Oh , i'm sure he's fine..." says our Emo Hero. I'M SURE HE'LL BE FINE? This guy got slammed in the head by shrimp-throat vader and YOU'RE SURE HE'S FINE? Oh, but the next day when we see him, all he has is a band-aid on his head. He was fine. Ok, HE'S FINE EVERYONE!
end of part 2 of my description of this CRAP!